Joy, Prayer & Thanks

Bits and pieces have been flitting through my mind over the last few days. Prompted, I suspect, by the season of Thanksgiving.

One of my childhood memories is hearing my Momma saying something about being happy when bad things happen to us. Huh?! That's insane! What kind of nonsense is that!?

Yesterday, our pastor preached on the subject of Thanksgiving. Timely, in more ways than just the obvious. At least, in my mind. He suggested that while we should give thanks to God for the obvious...all the things we list right off the bat. Home, family, freedom, etc., we should also praise God for the hard and seemingly bad stuff in our lives.

HELLO!!! What is wrong with this picture!? LOL!

And yet... looking back...

This picture is of our second son, all dressed up to play in the snow... wearing a helmet!?

In the looking back through the memories of my life, this picture shows a tiny bit of the absolute hardest thing that I've lived though and continue to live in. Benny was wearing a helmet to protect his head in case he had a seizure and crashed into something. But his troubles began earlier than this. His second birthday was spent in the hospital. Diagnosis - Insulin-Dependant Diabetes. And his third birthday was again celebrated in the hospital. This time it was for seizures that resembled an insulin reaction but weren't related at all.

There have been many times over the last 22 years with Ben that have been HARD and totally completely rotten. One of the lowest points was the fifty-three days of his 8th summer that were spent at Children's Hospital in Seattle. We thought we were going to lose him or at best, bring home a Benny-shaped vegetable. HARD summer.

During that summer, my parents came to visit and Momma brought Benny a children's book called "It Could Be Worse!" Cute book, as I look at it now, but at that moment, there COULD NOT BE anything worse. I was far from rejoicing or praising God for the circumstances that we found ourselves in. It was horrible, absolutely horrible.

But here's Benny now! This picture taken two days ago..

He's sitting on the couch looking at his bird book. He loves to bird watch and then try to figure out what bird it is that he just saw.

Of course, he still has the diabetes and the seizure. And now we know that what the "umbrella" cause of his problems is. He has a Mitochondrial defect, that's at the cell level. And the other thing we know is that it's very unusual for children diagnosed with Mito to make it to their 21st birthday. Benny will celebrate his 25th birthday in February and he's going strong.

So, give thanks? Praise God for these circumstances!? Is that absurd? Well, you know, in the moment it's really tough. I don't even think of  thanks or praise. I'm just thunderstuck and in the moment. But, looking back, I can see God's leading and it's easier. It's much easier to be thankful in retrospect than in the present.

Today I'm grateful that God saw fit to let this mess happen in our lives. Yes, it's hard, but... Well, here... another picture I just found in my files.

I drew this self-portrait back in the late 80's or early 90's. I should frame it and hang it up somewhere where I can see it often. ;) It has some technical problems but hey... whatever. I love it. And it reminds me of the fact that I am NEVER alone. God has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me. He never has. Ever.

Another picture. This one of another period of my life that was hard.

 (click it and bump it up in size. You've got to see the details)

This was home, off and on, for about three years. We were as close to homeless as I care to be. Was it hard?! Tough?! SURE! But there was always enough! Another picture! Same time frame.

That's our little Datsun station wagon. Loaded up with the recycling that I dug out of all the trash cans in the State Park that we campground hosted at. This was after a busy 4th of July weekend. LOL! The inside was loaded with all the glass and other recycling that we could find, leaving only enough room for me to sit and drive. The money from the recycling helped supply the "enough". I have a big butcher knife in my kitchen from that time, I found it stuck in a watermelon in the trash. LOL! It's a great knife and a reminder... He's never failed to supply our needs.

A lot of us are feeling the crunch from the current financial situation in our country/world. Our dollars are worth less, jobs are hard to find, things are tighter and scary. In my little corner, with the problems with Client C's dad and the possibility of losing half of my paycheck when she has to live somewhere else... Ohhhhh... I tell you, the last two plus weeks have been weighing on me. I'm constantly praying... "OH GOD!!! Show me the way out of this!? Show me what I'm to do!?"

This morning in my quiet time, I found and explored 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  NIV

Okay, I can do the joyful pretty easily. It's part of my personality, I guess. And, pray without ceasing. I can do that part. LOL! I'm glad God doesn't put up a "Talk to the hand!" hand when I whine and blather on. But, give thanks!? GIVE THANKS!?

Looking back is a GOOD thing. Remembering how God has led us in the past? A VERY good thing.

"Lord God? I want to live this verse. I want to be joyful, prayerfulled and thankful in ALL circumstances. Remind me of where we've been, give me the faith and courage to press on into tomorrow. Joyful! Prayerful! And THANKFUL!!!!"

Onward!