Good stuff. It was all basically the same words and messages that I've heard before. A new slant, a new story here and there but the same basic messages. HOWEVER this time what I heard was different. It feels like God has taken a Q-tip and cleaned out my ears.
I came out of this weekend's experience with two major life-changing thoughts. The first is "Who's in charge?" This isn't a new thought/question, but this weekend I heard it different.
All my life, or most of it, no one has been in charge. Either because I wouldn't let them be or because they didn't/couldn't step up to the plate. I don't know.
Sure, my parents were "in charge". But as my beloved Daddy and I joke around at times, we grew up together (Are we grown up now, Daddy?!) Perhaps it was a case of the blind leading the blind. I don't know. The GOOOOOOood thing that I came out of childhood with was that I was loved. I knew they loved and do love me. Never a question. And, you know, as far as parents mucking up their kids lives? HA! I tell you what, I wouldn't trade in my parents for any anothers. NO how, NO way! But... I still have sorta gone through life undirected, no one in charge. And woe be it unto Sid if he tried.That wasn't happening. And it wasn't that he hasn't tried.
At the same time I'm not a type-A person who makes a list and then just DOES it. In a lot of ways, important ways, I really need "a parent". I need direction, instruction and guidance. I need someone to be IN CHARGE. I just flail around, spinning my wheels, running in circles...
One of the blessings of knitting is that I'm learning good things. Love that. The most profound, thus far, came from my friend Winnie.(Thank YOU, Winnie) "Arline, just do what you're told." What?? Follow the pattern directions? HA! I am creative enough, independent enough and stubborn enough that sometimes I think I know better than the pattern directions. I question it. I doubt it and... Well, think about it! If you don't follow the directions, you don't get the results. Know what I mean?
As with knitting, so it is with life. Who's pattern am I following? Am I following ANY directions? Am I really just flailing around, spinning my wheels and going in circles?
HELLO!!! Is this working for you? Are you getting the results you want? Does this look, even remotely, like your "Picture" that became your "Focal Points"? (a list to the right of this writing) Are you even heading in that direction?
Not!
So, okay, back to the question. "Who's in charge?" Who is the designer of this life of mine? Who is the Pattern? Who am I listening to and following? All good questions. So, who?
The words of one of my favorite authors come to mind...
"Satan takes control of every mind that is not decidedly under the control of the Spirit of God." - E.G. White
WHOOOoooA!
It's my belief and understanding that there is one Power, God, is wanting me to LIVE and have an "abundant" life and there is another power, Satan, whose sole purpose is to DESTROY me. He doesn't care how, exactly, just so he keeps me away from THE other Power and then take me out. Dead. Gone. The end.
So, if the above words by EGW are true...What am I doing? Who am I choosing? Who is in charge of my life, my days, my minutes, my choices? EGW said it's "decidedly". That means, doesn't it, that it has to be a conscious CHOICE on my part? I have to decide. It ain't just gonna happen!
Hmmm.... Interesting. I get to choose. Not only do I GET to, but I have to. I must choose. It's the ONLY way to get anything different than what I've already been getting and will continue to get UNLESS...Unless I DECIDE - CHOOSE to be under the control of God. Every second? Every breath in and out.
Constant contact. By choice. Decidedly.
Okay, now the second "revelation" from this weekend. It's such a DUH!!!
Hmmm... How old was I? How long ago where those first classes in the low-fat, high-complex carbs, vegan lifestyle. How long has it been? Well... I think the first classes were "NEWSTART Homestyle". That was before we started our family. Our eldest, David is 26, so it was at least that long ago. 26+ years? I was in my mid-twenties.
Now, this lifestyle thing is something I fully agree with. I have a firm understanding of it. I've taken several classes and read numerous books on the subject. I know how to cook and bake and... I do it with grace, ease and flair, if I do say so myself. ;) I KNOW this stuff.
And the cool thing is that when I eat this way, it is super easy to lose weight. It just falls off. But! And that should be a BIG FAT BUT! My "besetting sin", my addition, chief coping mechanisim is FOOD! And we're not talkin' carrots and bananas here. Nope! When I'm into the food, it's all those fatty foods, animal products and sugarsugarSUGAR. And when I'm into those things, there isn't no such thing as "full" or "enough". There is NEVER ever enough. I never feel full. I'll eat until I run out of food, money or time alone. (food-crazy binging is most often secretive)
So, back to the "revelation" of weekend. I've heard Jim talk about his diet lifestyle before. He refers to it
often as "carrots and bananas" and I know what he's talking about this same vegan, low-fat, high complex carbs lifestyle. I've heard it before! But you know what I HEARD this weekend? It's such a DUH that it just cracks me up!
Jim doesn't eat that way because it's the "right" thing to do. He doesn't eat that way just because it's healthier (though it is), he doesn't eat that way so God will love him more or save him because he does it. NO! No. He eats that way so that his mind can be as clear as it can possible be. He wants his mind to be sharp and clear so that he can HEAR GOD'S VOICE calling to his heart.
OHhhhhhhhhMY!!!! Oh my. Oh my.
I heard it. The divine Q-Tip does good work.. I heard you, Jim. I hear you, Lord. Thank you. Both of you.
And so now, the reason I change my lifestyle, the reason I go back once AGAIN to eating the "carrots and bananas" is not to lose the120+ lbs. It is not to become fit and trim. It is not to avoid the obvious diseases associated with obesity. It's not even to prolong life. All of these are good, desireable and completely within God's will. I know that. But no, it's not about these anymore. These are the perks! From here on, THE REASON I must choose, the reason I do choose to change my lifestyle is so that the God of the Universe, my Heavenly Parent can speak and I will be able to hear His still small voice. I want to hear His gentle, tender, loving words calling to my heart. I want Him to parent me, to lead me and guide me on to the abundant life that He has designed just for me.
"Just do what you're told, Arline. Just do what you're told. If you want it to turn out like the picture that comes with the directions, you have to do what you're told."
Yes, Lord. Yes. You lead, I'll follow.
ONWARD!!!!!
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